Far Away

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


That I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


That I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause i'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go

- Nickelback, Brokeback Mountain

Ancient Evenings, Distant Music

There are old winds I still do not understand, though I have been riding, forever it seems, along the curl of their spines. I move in Dimension Z; the world goes by somewhere else in another slice of things, parallel to me. As if, hands in my pockets and bending a little forward, I see it through a department store window, looking inward.

In Dimension Z, there are strange moments. Coming around a long, rainy,curve, the highway turns to a footpath and the path to an animal trail. A pass of my wiper blades, and the trail becomes a forest place where nothing has ever gone. Again the wiper blades and, again, something further back. Great ice, this time. I am moving through short grass, in furs, with matted hair and spear, thin and hard as the ice itself, all muscle and implacable cunning. Past the ice, still farther back along the measure of things, deep salt water in which I swim, gilled and scaled. I cannot see more than that, except beyond plankton is the digit zero.

Euclid was not always right. He assumed parallelness, in constancy, right to the end of things; but a non-Euclidean way of being is also possible, where the lines come together, far out there. A vanishing point. The illusion of convergence.

Yet I know it's more than illusion. Sometimes a coming together is possible, a spilling of one reality into another. A kind of soft enlacing. Not prim intersections loomed in a world of precision, no sound of the shuttle. Just... well... breathing. Yes, that's the sound of it, maybe the feel of it, too. Breathing.

And I move slowly over this other reality, and beside it and underneath and around it, always with strength, always with power, yet always with a giving of myself to it. And the other senses this, coming forward with its own power, giving itself to me, in turn.

Somewhere, inside of the breathing, music sounds, and the curious spiral dance begins then, with a meter all its own that tempers the ice-man with spear and matted hair. And slowly--- rolling and turning in adagio, in adagio always--- ice-man falls... from Dimension Z... and into him.

robert james waller

Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

I am magic and soon I will fly to the portal of all Dreams, and I will be the victor of the soothsayers

When I sleep it’s filled with dreams, things with only him and me. Time is meaningless, oxygen is pointless, endless, no reason for worry. We skip on silver waves, that threaten to swallow us, but we smile, and laugh and pet them with the pads of our heels, and taunt them with the touch of our toes, skim over water like clean, safe sand.

When we kiss, it’s hungry and full of want that is silent and insinuated. I want him like oxygen in a world where it matters.

Soon I sink into the waves and drift back to shore without him. Water rains forward and bathes my ankles with moisture. You can see out for miles and miles. The water looks gray and the clouds seem to melt from their height and into the violent sea. I can’t see him in this mess of color--

Only . . . I can feel him here.

Thunder claps from somewhere in the distance and I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to even move. If the shore would just stretch a little further, it could get me, it could have me.

I can see him walking out of the water. Glowing and stronger. His board is in one piece, and he drags it across the sand toward me, droplets of water sliding over his face, tanned and not pale at all. He lets it fall behind him and kneels down beside me.

I ask him where he has been, and he laughs at me, he says: "Your going mad, you saw me- I was surfing, that’s what you do. You surf before the storm comes. That’s when the best waves come."

He will grab my hand and drag me into the water, but this time, he’ll be the one coming out alive.

I scratched my nails up and down the wood, because I knew I would do those things. I would get over this, I would smile, and I would laugh, and I would make love, and fall in love. I would be myself again, and I would go on without him. It nearly broke me to know that was my curse, to always be able to move on.

"Does good cooking insist on love? . . . How much better does food taste when stirred with love than with stress, or fear or contempt."

Intimacy is always the problem of the world

If I’ve managed to learn anything at all from what we’ve done,
It’s that even though it fills the cracks and crevices and mends the tattered souls,
Still we’re each other’s nemesis, and two halves do not always make a whole.
And though you know I’ve often heard it said we’re made of sterner stuff,

And all the things I left unsaid, assuming that you knew,
As if there were no question you could read my mind;
And all the times I shut you out and left you hanging- me deaf, dumb and blind;
And though I know we vowed to stick it out through the easy and the rough,

And all the stupid games we played to save out tarnished prides,
As if it really mattered which of us was wrong or right?
And even as we stood and watched it fall apart,
I loved you with all my might.
And thought the heroes in the paperbacks always wind up in the buff,

Love is not enough