Wednesday, March 29, 2006

love, elusivity and me !!

Make-believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I've turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm

It must have been love but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living withoutI
t must have been love but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows


Friday, March 24, 2006

I Am The Great Pretender ......

thank you all .... am just prefect at this !!! its amazing how emotions are so universal at times.

Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Pretending that Im doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
Im lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive

Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive

Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Just the way i feel ----

I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it -- wouldn't you?

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me -- and they do

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of this sad occasion
But that's no consolation -- here and now

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?
Don't ask anymore

tim rice - evita

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Inadequacy of Breathing

“When we kiss it's hungry and full of want that is silent and insinuated. I want him like oxygen in a world where it matters.”

ummm, hmmm, mmm, and more

Out to sea
Out to sea

And in the weightlessness of the deep,

Where dreams are fulfilled,
Two wills comes together to fulfill a wish

Your gaze and my gaze
Like an echo repeating wordlessly,

Farther out, farther out.
Beyond the other side of everything through blood and bones.

But is always wake up, and I always want to be dead,
Your hair forever caressing my lips.

The sea inside

You sure do have a strong sense of smell.

Yeah, its smell that probably gives me the most intense of feelings,
The most fantasies.
Your smell for instance.

My smell?


It’s the first thing I get when I daydream about you.

Wow, and what do you daydream about?

Oh many things,
I get up and … I travel to where I imagine you might be at that moment,
I just walk up to you and … I do what I have wished so many times I could do to you.
Then your smell becomes stronger, I get dizzy
And I can almost feel your heart beating fast.
Then, I feel your hands,
And I completely lose my mind.
I completely lose my mind.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

shades in between

I stumbled over to my room and looked at my mirror….. and I see me ….black and man and me .. it was me standing across from me ….. looking at myself and I laughed …

I laughed
I laugh hysterically and loud
I laugh long and hard
I laugh till my face ached with the stretch of it
I laugh till my body shivers with the sound of it
I laughed despite the throbbing of my insides
I laughed sincerely and simply

Because it was something I had never seen my reflection do ….

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Heart is an Organ on Fire

My darling
I am waiting for you
How long is the day in the dark?, or a week ?

We die, we die.
We die rich with lovers and tribes,
Tastes we have swallowed,
Bodies we have entered and swum up like rivers.
Fears that we have hidden in.

I want all this marked on my body,
We are the real countries,
Not the boundaries drawn on maps.

I know u will come and carry me out into the palace of winds,
That’s all I wanted,
To walk in such a place with you, with friends,
An earth with no maps.
The lamp's gone out,
And I am writing in the darkness…….

And I am waiting .....

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Sunscreen - Buz Lurhman

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists where as the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will notunderstand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as youimagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is aseffective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewingbubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things thatnever crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pmon some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up withpeople who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimesyou’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only withyourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if yousucceed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

StretchDon’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with yourlife…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what theywanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 yearolds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybeyou won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funkychicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’tcongratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – yourchoices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other peoplethink of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

(Brother and sister together we'll make it throughSomeday your spirit will take you and guide you thereI know you've been hurting, and I know I've been waiting to be therefor you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.Everybody's free.)

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few youshould hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography andlifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people youknew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
livein Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians willphilander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasizethat when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians werenoble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either onemight run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it willlook 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those whosupply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way offishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over theugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Monday, March 06, 2006

Is love a responsibility?

The mind creates questions. They may look very relevant and rational, but they are against experience, against existence. And because the whole world is communicating with each other only through the mind, nobody raises his voice against such questions, that they are basically wrong.

For example, this question….

Love knows no responsibility, because love itself is responsibility. To separate love and responsibility is simply stupid. But all moral systems of the world separate it. Their idea of responsibility does not correspond with existence, but only with their logic.

Responsibility, accordingly to all moral codes, is a kind of duty; and a duty is a burden. You have to do it, because you have been told to do it in spite of yourself. It is a should. And you feel guilty if you don't do it. You feel you are escaping from your responsibility. If you do it, you feel enslaved, destroyed as an individual, destroyed as freedom. So on both counts, you are in trouble.

Morality makes man psychologically sick.

If it is love, then there is no question of any burden; you are not doing something reluctantly in spite of yourself, because it has to be done. But you are concerned about respectability, what others will say. You will be condemned, so you have to take care of your old parents, live with your partner -- out of responsibility, not out of love.

Love is completely forgotten, because love needs a revolution in your consciousness. It is not so cheap as responsibility. Responsibility can be taught to you. Nobody can teach you love. Love you have to find yourself, within your being, by raising your consciousness to higher levels. And when love comes, there is no question of responsibility. You do things because you enjoy doing them for the person you love. You are not obliging the person, you are not even wanting anything in return, not even gratitude.

On the contrary, you are grateful that the person has allowed you to do something for him. It was your joy, sheer joy. Love knows nothing of responsibility. It does many things, it is very creative; it shares all that it has, but it is not a responsibility, remember. Responsibility is an ugly word in comparison to love.

If you are grown up in love, you can throw away all responsibility. Love is enough unto itself.

Forget all about responsibility, search deep in your being for the space which we call love. Once you have found that space within you, it expands. On its own it starts growing. It goes spreading around you, radiating around you. It becomes your very aura, your very energy field, and whoever comes into that energy field is touched, deeply touched with your joy, with your celebrating realization, with your love. But it is not a responsibility at all.

Responsibility is looking backward; love is looking forward. Be innocent like Adam and Eve, as if you have just arrived fresh and you don't have anything to do with the past. You have to find your own way; there is no guide, there is no holy scripture, there is no prophet, no savior. You are left alone to find your path. You will not find responsibility, you will find spontaneity. You will not find duty, you will find love. And if your life is nothing but pure love, you don't need any other spirituality. Love is something which is not a hypothesis. It is your intrinsic reality. And it is the most precious thing in you.

You may not be aware that whenever you do something because of responsibility, the other person can never forgive you. You have insulted him. But when you do something out of love, nobody feels any humiliation because love is humble, it cannot humiliate. Responsibility is not the quality of a humble person, it is the quality of the egoist who wants to make everybody obliged to him, who wants everybody to be a beggar and he the giver. He always wants to keep the upper hand. Nobody can forgive such a man. They may give him respect in the crowd, but behind his back, they all feel utterly insulted. And they take revenge.

Love never humiliates; hence there is no question of revenge. It simply rejoices in giving: it gives and it forgets. It does not even remember to whom it has given, what it has given. It does not keep an account of all that it has shared. It goes on, moment to moment, singing its song to whoever is capable of understanding it. Whoever is capable of receiving it will receive it.

He is a man who knows how to celebrate.

He is celebrating himself.

I celebrate myself.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Purple Momentz

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right

Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me nowI need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soulI don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me nowI need to let you know
ou don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
SOmetimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

salutations BONO, we bow down to thee!!!
Purple Momentz


Come dwell in this heart of mine, an ancient world
Every beat carries a story, every breath a legend

This maze of lanes, paved with petals of pain, pearls of sorrow.
Often it has been trampled, burnt and razed,
Often it has been caressed, nurtured and loved.
Oh, this is a city ancient; would you like to dwell in it?

This is like a piece of unbaked clay,
The more you explore, the faster is dissolves.
At every sign of love,
It begins to fall in an embrace.
Oh, this is a city ancient; would you like to dwell in it?
Purple Momentz

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.

Darkness leads my way when you are not here with me.
From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.
Into me you've poured light, a light that guides me through all darkness.

I'll go with you to countries I never saw and shared with you,

Now I shall experience them, smiling at how incomplete they all seem,
I'll go with you on ships across seas which, I know, exist no longer.

Of course I know that you're with me.

Like the sun and moon you are here with me.
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.

Think so little of me, they allow you to go.

Someday i will revive these journeys with you,
Now its time to say goodbye
Time to say goodbye